My Fat Spouse

What to do when life partners let themselves go...

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If you are really looking for answers PLEASE visit our forum! Find other people who are in YOUR situation. This forum is dedicated to helping you discuss what can be done.

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Welcome to My Fat Spouse



If you have been watching the news lately, I am sure that you have heard of the "Obesity Epidemic". Marriages are not immune to the effects of this issue and myfatspouse.org is here to help you sort through it.

How To Tell Your Wife or Husband
Telling a spouse to lose weight is a very delicate and tricky job. But before you start buying gym memberships, you must first bring up the subject. Consider this first. The odds are against you. Attempting to change a wife or husband's behavior ranks up there with, "let's invade Russia", on the stupid idea list. Your attempt may very well backfire, and it is entirely likely that you will end up with an angry and fat spouse.



You Are Not A Jerk or a Nag!
A lot of effort has gone into making sure that no one is allowed to question the fact that their wife or husband has become fat. Everyone who speaks up on an internet forum is quickly beaten down. When reading these posts and articles, it is obvious that many people are desperate and will imply that a spouse that questions his wife or husbands weight is calloused, insensitive, non loving, and even abusive.

Are You an Enabler?
You would have to be living in an isolated cabin in Montana not to have heard of the term "enabler". Basically an enabler is a person that allows another person, in a relationship, to continue with destructive behaviors by covering for them, and helping them out of bad situations caused by their poor judgment. While we typically think of the terms "co-dependency" and "enabler" as terms in dealing with chemical dependencies, it can apply equally to the "fat spouse" situation.



Denial
Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that a person may exhibit, as a way to avoid confronting uncomfortable realities. Often we hear of this mechanism in relationship to death or someone dealing with a substance abuse issue. Denial can apply to the Fat Spouse situation as well. It is not at all uncommon for the fat spouse to practice denial as a way to avoid coming to terms with their weight and doing anything about it.

Excuses
It is no coincidence as excuse making has become more and more acceptable; the waist lines of Americans have spiraled out of control. These days, a simple excuse is considered "just as good" as achieving success. It seems that no one is responsible for the results of their actions, or in these cases their failure to act! The excuses for gaining weight, and not exercising, or eating right, have grown in proportion to our bellies and thighs.



Acceptance
How to tell if your spouse really accepts him or herself - and if he or she doesn't, how do you bring the subject up? Frustrated spouses post on this site because they don't get support elsewhere. A common complaint seems to be that they are "flamed," or attacked for their attitudes, and told that they should "accept your spouse as he/she is." Accepting people for who they are is a good thing to do, yes. But does your spouse accept herself as she is? If not, should you be expected to do so?

Why was this website created?
This site was originally created by a musclehead named Chris to act as a counter balance to the hysterical reactions that wives and husbands get when they consult the internet about their spouses being over fat. I can't tell you what happened to Chris or the old site, but I can tell you hundreds of people found refuge there and in the forum he set up. My aim is to provide same resource and support right here. I hope you'll come back often, visit the forum, e-mail your suggestions and lend your bellows to the smoldering embers of our common cause.



Notes

Move It!

Are you a co-owner on our Famous My Fat Spouse Nabble Forum? Did you know you and all the other co-owners on this forum can move posts in and out of the "Hot Threads" sub-forum. There's a drop down menu in the right hand corner that says More optContinue

Created by Matilda Tuesday Nov 8, 2009 at 9:57am. Last updated by Matilda Tuesday Nov 8.

www.myfatspouse.org

Howdy My Fat Spousers! Be sure to check out the new and improved, old fashioned, slicker than wet wood myfatspouse.org! Matilda spent the better part of last night locked in her basement bedroom banging away on the old desktop Dell I gave her at least eight Chritmases ago. It looks good, there's a couple new features and all the same old stuff. Don't feel like you need to keep those card and letter… Continue

Created by Archie Archive Oct 29, 2009 at 3:05pm. Last updated by Archie Archive Oct 29.

Spelling Counts!

Help Me find every little error so that the site haters are FORCED to talk about the subject. BTW please post the link to the appropriate article. Simply stating "you should have used "too" instead of "to", is entirely worthless, without a link. Remember if you can't beat them ... Spell Check Them. Continue

Created by Archie Archive Oct 17, 2009 at 8:38am. Last updated by Archie Archive Oct 17.

Blog Posts

Archie Archive

Do you hate Fat People?

I don't think anyone here "hates" fat people. Wanting people to improve their lives, better themselves, and reach their highest potential is not equal to hate. Just because I respect higher education doesn't mean I hate anyone who hasn't achieved that level of education.

And just because I think olympic medalists rock, doesn't mean I hate anyone below that level in sports. Nor do I hate myself for not having the ability to be in the olympics.

And just because I think having a fit strong body i… Continue

Posted by Archie Archive on November 23, 2009 at 2:41pm

Archie Archive

Are you a good wife/hubby by 1930s standards?

Are you a good wife/hubby by 1930s standards? Find out with this test

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/

Posted by Archie Archive on October 17, 2009 at 8:33am

Archie Archive

Losing Weight for Vanity's Sake by A101

One of my issues with the fat movement is that they believe that wanting to get your body into a certain shape can only come from ‘hating yourself‘.

I have always found this statement ridiculous.

Its no different then saying ‘In order to want to improve/change/gain your education, you must first HATE your mind’.It is complete nonsense.

Why is it that in the fat movement eyes, the want to change things can only come from 'self hate'?

Here is a fact of life: We are NOT born at our full potenti… Continue

Posted by Archie Archive on October 13, 2009 at 4:14pm

My Fat Spouse

Looks, Attraction and Being Shallow

A starter point:
I have never understood some peoples strange and undying need to deny that physical attraction has an important role to play in a healthy relationship.

The way you look is a part of who you are, your body goes everywhere with you.

Everyone has 'bad days' and such, and no-one is expected to look perfect all the time, however a politically correct segment of the world has decided that any mention of needing physical attraction means there is something wrong with you, and feed ou… Continue

Posted by My Fat Spouse on October 12, 2009 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

My Fat Spouse

Real Women, Equality and Real Men

One thing that the fat movement and such mention, as well as plus sized advocates, is that overweight women (sometimes they say people, but usually its women they say) are 'real'.

Basically they put up a picture: http://www.insidesocal.com/outinhollywood/.nikkib.jpg

Then proceed to say 'this is what a REAL women looks like, not those 'waifs' and all that other stuff we see.

And not only that but anyone who says they don't like it (no matter how nicely they put it) is name called, called hatef… Continue

Posted by My Fat Spouse on October 12, 2009 at 12:56pm

Archie Archive

Why I Left My Fat Wife

I ran across this great blog entry over on Wordpress the other night. Thought I better share. The comments on Roissy's page are pretty cool too!
This one caught my eye:

I’ve been reading this blog for about 6 months and if that story’s true I think I found a new depth in what you’ve been writing. Cheers to not compromising.


You'll have click here to read the whole thing and tell me if you think… Continue

Posted by Archie Archive on September 22, 2009 at 8:00pm

 
 

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Weight Gain Within A Marriage Information on excess weight gain after the wedding

Life in fast forward

  Your life thus far has been pretty good.  You’ve been fit and healthy all throughout your single life and managed to attract your current spouse.  Now you’ve put on some weight and do not look or feel like the person you once were.  Putting on some weight may seem like a completely personal decision and [...]

Don’t hate the weight

For the most part, no one likes to gain excess weight.  And who would? It has the power to completely distort your former good looks and can make normal activity completely exhausting.  It heightens your risk for premature death and imposes limitations on your activities and opportunities. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t lose hope.  Try this instead: check yourself out! [...]

There’s a million reasons you can find not to exercise

One of the reasons you or your spouse has put on weight is because you’re not working out.  Each reason you’re coming up with to not workout is just an excuse.  Life will never slow down, there will never be a time that’s less hectic for you; your problems only change they don’t go away.  Here are some [...]

In the News

Women At Increased Risk Of Dementia If Prone To Collecting Fat Around The Middle

Women who store fat on their waist in middle age are more than twice as likely to develop dementia when they get older, reveals a new study from the Sahlgrenska Academy. The study has just been published in the scientific journal Neurology. "Anyone carrying a lot of fat around the middle is at greater risk of dying prematurely due to a heart attack or stroke," says Deborah Gustafson, senior lecturer at the Sahlgrenska Academy.

Interim Data From A Clinical Trial Evaluating GI Dynamics' EndoBarrier™ Gastrointestinal Liner In Patients With Type 2 Diabetes

GI Dynamics, a leader in non-surgical, endoscopic treatments for type 2 diabetes and obesity, announced that interim data from its ongoing clinical study of the EndoBarrier™ Gastrointestinal Liner in obese patients with type 2 diabetes will be presented by Eduardo G. Moura, M.D., Ph.D.

Diabetics Show Alarming Increase In Morbid Obesity

A Loyola University Health System study has found that one out of five Type 2 diabetics is morbidly obese -- approximately 100 pounds or more overweight. Researchers reported that 62.4 percent of U.S. adults with Type 2 diabetes are obese, and 20.7 percent are morbidly obese. Among African American adults with Type 2 diabetes, 1 in 3 is morbidly obese.
 

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