If you have been watching the news lately, I am sure that you have heard of the "Obesity Epidemic". Marriages are not immune to the effects of this issue and myfatspouse.org is here to help you sort through it.


How To Tell Your Wife or Husband
Telling a spouse to lose weight is a very delicate and tricky job. But before you start buying gym memberships, you must first bring up the subject. Consider this first. The odds are against you. Attempting to change a wife or husband's behavior ranks up there with, "let's invade Russia", on the stupid idea list. Your attempt may very well backfire, and it is entirely likely that you will end up with an angry and fat spouse.

You Are Not A Jerk or a Nag!
A lot of effort has gone into making sure that no one is allowed to question the fact that their wife or husband has become fat. Everyone who speaks up on an internet forum is quickly beaten down. When reading these posts and articles, it is obvious that many people are desperate and will imply that a spouse that questions his wife or husbands weight is calloused, insensitive, non loving, and even abusive.

Are You an Enabler?
You would have to be living in an isolated cabin in Montana not to have heard of the term "enabler". Basically an enabler is a person that allows another person, in a relationship, to continue with destructive behaviors by covering for them, and helping them out of bad situations caused by their poor judgment. While we typically think of the terms "co-dependency" and "enabler" as terms in dealing with chemical dependencies, it can apply equally to the "fat spouse" situation.

Denial
Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that a person may exhibit, as a way to avoid confronting uncomfortable realities. Often we hear of this mechanism in relationship to death or someone dealing with a substance abuse issue. Denial can apply to the Fat Spouse situation as well. It is not at all uncommon for the fat spouse to practice denial as a way to avoid coming to terms with their weight and doing anything about it.

Excuses
It is no coincidence as excuse making has become more and more acceptable; the waist lines of Americans have spiraled out of control. These days, a simple excuse is considered "just as good" as achieving success. It seems that no one is responsible for the results of their actions, or in these cases their failure to act! The excuses for gaining weight, and not exercising, or eating right, have grown in proportion to our bellies and thighs.

Acceptance
How to tell if your spouse really accepts him or herself - and if he or she doesn't, how do you bring the subject up? Frustrated spouses post on this site because they don't get support elsewhere. A common complaint seems to be that they are "flamed," or attacked for their attitudes, and told that they should "accept your spouse as he/she is." Accepting people for who they are is a good thing to do, yes. But does your spouse accept herself as she is? If not, should you be expected to do so?

Why was this website created?
This site was originally created by a musclehead named Chris to act as a counter balance to the hysterical reactions that wives and husbands get when they consult the internet about their spouses being over fat. I can't tell you what happened to Chris or the old site, but I can tell you hundreds of people found refuge there and in the forum he set up. My aim is to provide same resource and support right here. I hope you'll come back often, visit the forum, e-mail your suggestions and lend your bellows to the smoldering embers of our common cause.