My Fat Spouse

What to do when life partners let themselves go...

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  • George Scott
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  • Frustrated09
  • Archie Archive
  • Candice McCluskey
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  • Larry Smith
  • Mandeville
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Latest Activity

on Saturday
david george lanfear is now a member of My Fat Spouse
February 1
Oh... wow. I'm awful sorry. You have nice legs. Looks like she would, too...
January 31
Farewell and Godspeed, my friend. We shall miss you.
January 29
I wonder how former Senator John Edwards felt about his wife's weight? I'm sure it had nothing to do with his affair with a slender friendly yoga instructor.
January 28
Frustrated09 added an album
5'-8" 140 pounds compared to 5'-0" 230 pounds
January 28
January 27
Candice McCluskey is now a member of My Fat Spouse
January 26

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If you are really looking for answers PLEASE visit our forum! Find other people who are in YOUR situation. This forum is dedicated to helping you discuss what can be done.

MFS Nabble Forum
MFS Nabble Blog

 

Welcome to My Fat Spouse



If you have been watching the news lately, I am sure that you have heard of the "Obesity Epidemic". Marriages are not immune to the effects of this issue and myfatspouse.org is here to help you sort through it.


How To Tell Your Wife or Husband
Telling a spouse to lose weight is a very delicate and tricky job. But before you start buying gym memberships, you must first bring up the subject. Consider this first. The odds are against you. Attempting to change a wife or husband's behavior ranks up there with, "let's invade Russia", on the stupid idea list. Your attempt may very well backfire, and it is entirely likely that you will end up with an angry and fat spouse.



You Are Not A Jerk or a Nag!
A lot of effort has gone into making sure that no one is allowed to question the fact that their wife or husband has become fat. Everyone who speaks up on an internet forum is quickly beaten down. When reading these posts and articles, it is obvious that many people are desperate and will imply that a spouse that questions his wife or husbands weight is calloused, insensitive, non loving, and even abusive.

Are You an Enabler?
You would have to be living in an isolated cabin in Montana not to have heard of the term "enabler". Basically an enabler is a person that allows another person, in a relationship, to continue with destructive behaviors by covering for them, and helping them out of bad situations caused by their poor judgment. While we typically think of the terms "co-dependency" and "enabler" as terms in dealing with chemical dependencies, it can apply equally to the "fat spouse" situation.



Denial
Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that a person may exhibit, as a way to avoid confronting uncomfortable realities. Often we hear of this mechanism in relationship to death or someone dealing with a substance abuse issue. Denial can apply to the Fat Spouse situation as well. It is not at all uncommon for the fat spouse to practice denial as a way to avoid coming to terms with their weight and doing anything about it.

Excuses
It is no coincidence as excuse making has become more and more acceptable; the waist lines of Americans have spiraled out of control. These days, a simple excuse is considered "just as good" as achieving success. It seems that no one is responsible for the results of their actions, or in these cases their failure to act! The excuses for gaining weight, and not exercising, or eating right, have grown in proportion to our bellies and thighs.



Acceptance
How to tell if your spouse really accepts him or herself - and if he or she doesn't, how do you bring the subject up? Frustrated spouses post on this site because they don't get support elsewhere. A common complaint seems to be that they are "flamed," or attacked for their attitudes, and told that they should "accept your spouse as he/she is." Accepting people for who they are is a good thing to do, yes. But does your spouse accept herself as she is? If not, should you be expected to do so?

Why was this website created?
This site was originally created by a musclehead named Chris to act as a counter balance to the hysterical reactions that wives and husbands get when they consult the internet about their spouses being over fat. I can't tell you what happened to Chris or the old site, but I can tell you hundreds of people found refuge there and in the forum he set up. My aim is to provide same resource and support right here. I hope you'll come back often, visit the forum, e-mail your suggestions and lend your bellows to the smoldering embers of our common cause.



Notes

Gone Fishing

Where do I begin? When Chris and the old myfatspouse.com mysteriously disappeared from the internet last January, I just couldn't let it die. I found so much comfort in that crazy internet forum. I think it was Mary45 who pointed out that obesity is probably the most common and least talked about sources of conflict in moderContinue

Created by Archie Archive Jan 25, 2010 at 12:32am. Last updated by Archie Archive Jan 25.

The Gallery

If you get a chance I hope you will check out  our new gallery on myfatspouse.org. The gallery is another crazy Nabble feature so I'll probably be embedding it all over the place. Feel free to contribute anthing you find out there on the internets. Thanks for your continued support! Continue

Created by Matilda Tuesday Jan 17, 2010 at 12:04pm. Last updated by Matilda Tuesday Jan 17.

Move It!

Are you a co-owner on our Famous My Fat Spouse Nabble Forum? Did you know you and all the other co-owners on this forum can move posts in and out of the "Hot Threads" sub-forum. There's a drop down menu in the right hand corner that says More optContinue

Created by Matilda Tuesday Nov 8, 2009 at 9:57am. Last updated by Matilda Tuesday Nov. 8, 2009.

Blog Posts

Archie Archive

Gone Fishing!

Where do I begin? When Chris and the old myfatspouse.com mysteriously disappeared from the internet last January, I just couldn't let it die. I found so much comfort in that crazy internet forum. I think it was Mary45 who pointed out that obesity is probably the most common and least talked about sources of conflict in modern marriage. That may be changing. The "Obesity Epidemic" has become a favorite filler for many in the mainstream media and one can hardly avoid the endless advertising barrag… Continue

Posted by Archie Archive on January 25, 2010 at 12:32am — 1 Comment

Mandeville

Far from living in a dream world

Did I make a big mistake trying to reach out for help? O_o

I'm not adversarial, et al. I just want start off by saying....

I am NOT a glutton. I am NOT delusional

I didn't post here to have someone say "It's pretty simply you are eating too much!" or "You are not here for diet advice you are here for absolution for your gluttony." And I'm far from lazy, before anyone tacks that one on me. I have a household with 6 people (myself included), my spouse is deployed several times throughout… Continue

Posted by Mandeville on January 15, 2010 at 2:30pm — 4 Comments

Mandeville

My struggle with my weight...

Part of this was posted in "comments"...

Well, currently I'm 220lbs. I've been trying to lose the weight for at least 8 years, but it doesn't seem to "go away" with all the exercising: treadmill, stationary bike, weight bench, free weights, walking (broken up throughout the day). The one day after my regular routine I added the time up collectively 7.5 hrs a day for 6 days totalling 45 hours.

I have 3 children (14, 12 and 6.5), I chasing after the 6.5 y/o (who's a very active little guy). I do… Continue

Posted by Mandeville on January 14, 2010 at 3:00pm — 3 Comments

Smallwife

Big Fat Boyfriend Book

This book full of interesting information and it's only 175 pages long. the author tells you how to breaks bad habits and gives you healthy eating strategies to help you deal with living with a diet disaster. From Good-for-Him (and You!) Recipes to The Top Ten Reasons Your Boyfriend is Adding Baggage to Your Backside, Big Fat Boyfriend is a great survival guide for women whose relationships are wreaking havoc on their waistline.

Some good tips:

1. Dress up when going out to eat, even if it's j… Continue

Posted by Smallwife on December 17, 2009 at 3:57pm

Archie Archive

Do you hate Fat People?

I don't think anyone here "hates" fat people. Wanting people to improve their lives, better themselves, and reach their highest potential is not equal to hate. Just because I respect higher education doesn't mean I hate anyone who hasn't achieved that level of education.

And just because I think olympic medalists rock, doesn't mean I hate anyone below that level in sports. Nor do I hate myself for not having the ability to be in the olympics.

And just because I think having a fit strong body i… Continue

Posted by Archie Archive on November 23, 2009 at 2:41pm

Archie Archive

Are you a good wife/hubby by 1930s standards?

Are you a good wife/hubby by 1930s standards? Find out with this test

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/

Posted by Archie Archive on October 17, 2009 at 8:33am

 
 

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In the News

Questions Remain On Bariatric Surgery For Adolescents

Laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding surgery can effectively treat obesity in adolescents and seems to offer a better alternative than gastric bypass surgery, but further study is needed to determine whether it's better than nonsurgical options, a UT Southwestern Medical Center surgeon writes in an editorial in the Feb. 10 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association...

Family Meals, Adequate Sleep And Limited TV May Lower Childhood Obesity

A new national study suggests that preschool-aged children are likely to have a lower risk for obesity if they regularly engage in one or more of three specific household routines: eating dinner as a family, getting adequate sleep and limiting their weekday television viewing time. In a large sample of the U.S...

Austrailia Winning The War On Weight

Monash University-led nationwide study into the health beliefs and behaviours of obese people has found that the more severely obese a person is, the less likely they feel they can reduce their weight. The research, funded by the Australian Research Council Discovery Grant Scheme, is the first of its kind in Australia...
 

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